Nervous System Awareness for Optimal Performance, Recovery & Growth
What’s happening under the surface?
Have you ever found yourself reacting to stress in ways that surprise you—snapping at someone, shutting down, or feeling anxious for no clear reason? I’ve certainly been there, and it’s one of the reasons I keep returning to the science of the Nervous System and, specifically, Polyvagal Theory.
What does the science of the nervous system and Polyvagal Theory (PVT) mean?
PVT is a body of research, study and practice developed by Dr. Stephen Porges which gives us a map for understanding how our nervous system shapes & impacts every moment of our lived experience. Whether we feel safe and connected, stressed out in fight or flight, or feel like giving up in collapse or shutdown, it’s our nervous system that governs these felt senses and embodied responses.
Our Nervous System through a Polyvagal Lens
Unlock Optimal Performance by Understanding Our Nervous Systems
Through a ‘Polyvagal Lens’, our body automatically shifts between states of safety and connection, mobilized fight, flight, flow and play, and shutdown or collapse. In every moment, we will find ourselves in one of these states, or in a hybrid of multiple states.
This is 100% dependent on how much safety or threat our brain stem preconsciously perceives in our outside world, our inside world, and our relationships. The word preconscious is important here, these shifts occur long before our conscious mind is aware—which can sometimes result in us feeling ‘hijacked’ or ‘the victim’ of our embodied response, creating more fight, flight, or shutdown in a perpetual negative loop. As a result, we can sometimes find ourselves trapped or locked in a sub-optimal nervous system state, without ever truly understanding what happened.
And what we’ve been taught (or what we assume), is that we must think our way out of anxiety, burnout, or emotional overwhelm.
But the truth is, these states are rooted in our physiology. The real work is learning to meet your body where it is, to listen to its cues, and to gently guide it back toward safety and connection through emobided tools and practices, not conscious thought alone.
Practical Applications: Building an Adaptable Relationship with your Nervous System
Start with Awareness: Start with paying attention. Attention is one of our most valuable currencies, and we spend much of our lives not being mindful of being intentional with our attention. This practice starts by observing, noticing your current state. Are you feeling open and connected, tense and on edge, or withdrawn and shut down? Simply pausing to observe without judgment, shame, guilt, or any story, but perhaps instead with some curiosity and even self-compassion, is a great start.
Connect with Your Breath: Our breath is one of the most direct pathways we have to connect with and shift our nervous system state consciously. As you notice your state, perhaps you begin to guide your breath in a way that feels connected to your current state. If you’re in fight or flight, this may be a faster paced breath, perhaps inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, after 20-30 of these breaths, see if you can slow and soften the inhales and exhales, shifting entirely to nasal breathing. If you are feeling exhausted or burnt out, perhaps you simply notice what it feels like to take some long and slow intentional breaths. Once you feel connected to this breath, you could practice taking a few breaths with a little bit more effort and vigor - this may even feel good combining it with walking outdoors in nature for 1-5 minutes.
Seek Co-Regulation: Who are the people in your life that fill you with sensations of safety, connection, trust, warmth, ease, and joy? Intentionally book time with these people and see if you can communicate with them what your system needs (“I’d love to go out for a walk with you where we can just walk together without needing to talk necessarily”, or “Would you be up for sharing a meal with me where we just enjoy one anothers company…”). The point here is to guide the people in your tribe or inner-circle into an effective co-regulatory state to help give your system what it needs. Imagine the opposite of this where you want to spend quiet, reflective time in the presence of a friend, but without communicating this, your friend doesn’t know that it’s not the right time to unravel all of their troubles and challenges in a relationship or work scenario. Now, instead of giving your system what it needs (Safety, connection, calm, ease), it is actually experiencing the opposite, more mobilization to escape the situation or shutdown as you empathize with your friends situation. (If you missed my recent article on co-regulation, it’s worth a read.)
Shape Your Environment: Small changes—like adding plants, meaningful objects, or calming music—can provide subtle cues of safety for your nervous system. If you’re mobilized with lots of fight or flight energy, shaping your environment may mean getting out for a workout, a run, or exercise where you’re meeting and shaping the energy in your system where it is.
Practice Micro-Moments of Connection: The smallest gestures, taken in a container of safety, can be all we need when coming back to connection. Try placing your hand on your heart, take one mindful breath, notice a beautiful flower blooming or listen to the birdsong around you. These small acts help you find small moments of safety and connection, especially during stress, anxiety, or shutdown. These are small breadcrumbs that allow us to start guiding our nervous system back into connection.
Reflection Questions
When do you feel most safe, connected, and at ease? What environments or relationships support this?
What are your earliest signs of moving into fight/flight or shutdown? How does your body let you know?
What’s one daily ritual you could add to help your nervous system feel safer?
Why This Matters for Performance, Recovery, and Growth
True optimal performance and deep recovery aren’t just about pushing harder—they’re about building an adaptable, resilient relationship with your nervous system. When you understand your own patterns and have tools to shift your state, you can show up more fully for yourself, your work, and your relationships.
If you’re ready to go deeper, I invite you to check out my 1:1 Pause to Grow Mentorship Program. It’s designed to help you build a personalized roadmap for nervous system awareness, regulation, and growth—whether you’re a leader, athlete, or simply seeking more presence and connection in your daily life.
I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions about Polyvagal Theory and how it shows up in your own life. Just hit reply—I read every message.
Sincerely,
Tyrell Mara
Founder, The Human Performance Project
Facilitator & Guide, The Wellness Den
Farmer, O'Bella Farms
PS—For more on the science and practice of leadership and optimal performance through the lens of the Nervous System, Heart Intelligence, and Neuroscience, you can find my recent articles on The Human Performance Project Substack.
